If you’ve been out in the dating world lately, it seems more and more men are not looking for serious relationships. Friends with benefits, situationships, and single-by-choice men are at an all-time high. Here are 17 reasons why men may not be interested in relationships.
Previous Relationships
When you’ve been hurt in the past, it can be hard to think about putting yourself out there again. Since men are less likely to seek professional guidance for their mental health, many become avoidant of all relationships instead of healing from the past.
Cheating
Cheating specifically can create trust issues that are hard to get past. Even when men who have been cheated on think about putting themselves back on the market, the suspicion and lack of trust can end relationships before they even have a chance to start.
Fear of Being Taken Advantage Of
Some men may feel that they have been exploited in previous relationships, leading to a reluctance to date. Whether it was women they felt used them for their money, as a handyman, or maybe even an emotional punching bag, men are opting to not risk being taken advantage of again.
Netflix and Chill
“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?” This old-school saying has taken up residence in men’s minds lately. With the rise of the no-strings-attached physical relationships, men are opting to stay on Tinder for multiple one-night stands or look for friends with benefits instead of emotional relationships.
Perceived Expectations
Maybe it’s the rise of social media and women being vocal about their “standards” on various platforms. A recent video went viral of a woman refusing to get out of the car when a man took her to the Cheesecake Factory for a first date. Videos like this leave men thinking it’s not worth the effort to take a woman out.
Being Too Old
Dating can feel like a young person’s game. It’s easy as we get older to think it’s not worth dating anymore. Either not having the patience for it or even thinking you might not be around long enough for a substantial relationship can be a huge block to finding love.
Desire for Independence
Some men may prefer to focus on their personal growth and independence rather than being in a relationship. It’s easier to do whatever you want, whenever you want, without having another person in your life, which you have to take into consideration.
Career Ambitions
Men who are highly focused on their careers may not want to date due to the time and energy commitments required. Making partner, running your own business, and many other career goals can put dating on the sidelines.
Contentment With Being Single
More than half of all unmarried Americans, 55 percent, were not in a committed romantic relationship and were not looking for one. Just 16 percent of unmarried Americans who weren’t already in a serious relationship said that they wanted to be, according to Psychology Today.
Low Sexual Desire
Men with low sexual desire may not have the same motivation to date as others. Without the sexual component, some men are just choosing to focus on friendships and other forms of relationships rather than romantic ones.
Lack of Emotional Connection
Difficulty in emotionally connecting with potential partners can be a dating barrier. This could be a problem with just finding an emotional connection with a new partner, or it could be a chronic problem of not being emotionally available for any connection. Often, boys are not shown affection or taught to be in touch with their emotions from an early age, which can hinder connections as adults.
Fear of Rejection
Social rejection can cause the same feeling in the body as physical pain. Because people tend to avoid pain, avoiding the chance of being rejected can hold many men back from putting themselves out there in the dating world.
Economic Constraints
Dating can be expensive. It’s often expected for men to pay on a first date, which, when one is dating multiple people to find a connection, can quickly add up. When a man offers a lower-cost option, such as a coffee date, he can be met with pushback, as some women see that as low effort. Financial pressures and the cost of dating can be prohibitive for some men.
Time Constraints
Life is busy. Between work, hobbies, friends, and other obligations, finding time to date can be tough. And dating is time-consuming. Starting with scrolling through the apps, waiting for matches, chatting with potential dates, first dates, and so on, dating in modern society can feel like a full-time job.
Dating App Fatigue
Gregory Matos, PsyD, says, “Whether you’re just starting to date or you’re recently divorced and dating again, dating apps are a huge driver of new romantic connections in the United States. The only problem is that upwards of 62% of users are men and many women are overwhelmed by the number of options they have. Competition in online dating is fierce, and lucky in-person chance encounters with dreamy partners are rarer than ever.”
Situationships
With the rise of friends with benefits came the “situationship.” A situationship is a romantic or sexual relationship that is not considered to be formal or established. This loosely formed relationship has men receiving all the benefits of being in a committed relationship without having the emotional responsibilities that typically come with it.
Disenchantment with Modern Women
Reading a Reddit board, you can see men have become disenchanted with the modern woman. It seems the clash of the feminist “I can do for myself” and “I expect to be treated like a princess” has men running from the dating scene. They feel women put themselves too high on a pedestal, thinking men are below them, and that doesn’t feel great to a potential suitor.
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