You may be wondering why you’re finding it difficult to progress or grow in your relationship. There can be many factors stopping you, but one of the biggest may be sticking to “modern” relationship rules. Here are 17 “modern” relationship rules that are actually regressive.
Confusing Sex with Love at the Beginning
Sex should not be confused with love. For example, Psychology Today writes, “Don’t confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.” In the early stages of a relationship, you should be open and honest about how you feel.
Social Media Perceptions
Social media has a huge impact on people’s perceptions of what love and a successful relationship should look like. There’s been a shift from deep and meaningful conversations in relationships to keeping up an online façade. Posting everything on social media means intimate moments don’t become as special.
The Illusion of Complete Equality
Challenges can arise if roles aren’t established in the relationship. It can cause frustration and resentment if responsibilities aren’t clearly distributed. There should be a balance between shared duties and duties based on a person’s strengths or weaknesses, and sometimes this isn’t completely equal.
Image Over Substance
Thrive Global writes, “Today, love has become fancy. It is more about showing others that you are having a fairytale love story even if you barely sit and talk or discuss your emotions in reality.” There’s pressure to portray a perfect relationship on social media, and sometimes the growth of a relationship is put to one side for personal validation.
The Stigma Around Traditional Roles
There’s still the misconception that traditional roles are oppressive. A couple should focus on the benefits that come with having clearly defined roles, even if they’re traditional. The most important thing when deciding on roles is the importance of choice and mutual agreement, as both people in the relationship need to be happy.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations
Sometimes, we have the tendency to sidestep away from difficult conversations; it’s only natural. However, this can seriously harm our relationship. For example, the Harvard Business
Review writes, “Avoiding or delaying a difficult conversation can hurt your relationships and create other negative outcomes.” Communication is important when it comes to any issue.
Choice in Dating
Thanks to modern dating apps, a person has far too much choice when it comes to dating, and this isn’t always a good thing. Unlimited options can lead to indecision and instability in a relationship. There can be confusion when it comes to a desire for freedom or wanting to be in a committed relationship.
Misinterpretation of Independence
Sometimes, the need for solitary independence can be confused with not wanting to commit to or invest in a relationship. What a person doesn’t always realize is that they can be self-sufficient while also having support. You should try to recognize that there’s nothing wrong with being vulnerable and interdependent.
Disregarding the Past
Problems can arise if you ignore earlier relationships, as you may have learned lessons from the past. You should acknowledge that past relationships did happen, especially if they’re going to help you in the future. Having a better understanding of your past will help to progress any current relationships.
Excessive Focus on Personal Fulfillment
If one person in the relationship is excessively focused on personal fulfillment, then it can cause the relationship to become one-sided. For example, Healthline writes, “It’s OK to need a relationship with an equal level of commitment and investment. That’s a healthy relationship, after all.” A relationship should focus on balance, and sometimes that means compromising.
The Importance of Effort
Having an effortless love that’s always exciting is a complete myth. The reality is that all relationships require work, along with compromise and adapting to one another. If challenges arise, a couple needs to try and persevere through them, as this will help to strengthen their bond.
Instant Gratification vs. Long-Term Satisfaction
Many people have a preference for instant rewards, and this is also the case in relationships. Instead, benefits come when there’s been a level of sustained effort and patience. There’s been a huge impact on societal expectations for quick success in relationships, and these don’t always work out.
Expecting Open Communication Without Boundaries
The Times of India writes, “Without boundaries, one can easily cross the line and overstep personal spaces, creating feelings of discomfort and frustration.” There’s a huge misconception that all thoughts and feelings should be shared without a filter. Timing and sensitivity should always play a huge part in communicating with your partner.
Neglecting Personal and Shared Growth
You should never view a relationship as a final destination; it should be viewed as a journey of growth. You should also never neglect your own growth when in a relationship, as both of these things can work alongside each other. Partners should encourage and support each other’s dreams.
Dismissing the Significance of Compromise
Harley Therapy writes, “How you compromise in relationships will either make or eventually break your connection.” Many people may view compromise as a loss rather than an integral part of a relationship. Compromising can be significantly important when it comes to resolving disagreements and meeting each other’s needs.
The Challenge of Maintaining Intimacy
Sometimes, intimacy can decline in relationships due to busy lifestyles or even technological distractions. If this is an issue, then strategies should be put in place to keep both the emotional and physical connection alive. The world we live in is always going to be fast-paced, but that shouldn’t stop a couple from making time for one another.
Unrealistic Expectations from Media Influences
Media influences such as romantic movies, books, or even social media tell us how we should be in a relationship and the expectations around them. It’s important to distinguish between fact and fiction and understand that the media is there to entertain us. Instead of thinking your relationship should be like a movie, try to foster healthy views of it and focus on reality.
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