Losing a loved one to death is a very difficult time of life, and there are some things that will never be the same after that. In this article, you’ll find 17 things that always change after a loved one dies.
Vacations
Family vacations are always the highlights of the year, but when a loved one dies, going on vacation can be hard. Having fun without your loved one on vacation might make you feel guilty. While you’re on vacation, you might constantly imagine how much better it would be if your loved one were there.
Holidays
The holidays are some of the hardest times to deal with when a loved one dies. This is because you’re always thinking about the last time you spent the holidays together and remember all the little quirks and things your loved one would say and do during the holiday season. Nothing can replace that.
Dreaming
For a long time after a loved one dies, you might dream about them. CBC calls these dreams “grief dreams.” Although the dreams themselves might be positive, they can make us feel bad because we miss the person dearly. Waking up and realizing we were only dreaming is upsetting.
Anniversaries
Wedding anniversaries are some of the hardest days of the year when your partner dies. This is a day when you think back on the happiest day of your life and how you’ll never be able to spend it together again. The reality of this can be too much to handle.
Birthdays
When a birthday comes around, especially a milestone, you always invite your closest family and friends. There are certain people in your life who would never let you down on this day; they’re always there. One of those people who was always there was your loved one. Now that they’re gone, birthdays feel lonely.
Grocery Shopping
Even grocery shopping changes after a loved one dies. You’re so used to picking up the things that they would like to eat and shopping with one more person in mind. Now, you have to cut back on how much food you buy, and this feels strange.
Movies
You used to love sitting down in the evening and watching a movie with your favorite person. You knew what kind of movies they liked and all their movie-watching quirks, like talking through the movie or falling asleep at the end. Now that they’re not here, watching a movie seems boring.
Walks
Did you and your loved one often go for walks together? Then going for a walk now that they’ve passed might make you feel extremely lonely. The National Institutes of Health says that doing exercise, such as going for walks, can help those who are grieving. So, although it might be painful, going for a walk is good for you.
Cooking
You were used to cooking for one extra person and making the food that they liked. But now that they’re not here, cooking is just another action that makes you think about your loved one all the time. It brings back fond memories of them, but these memories are painful.
Ironing
You were used to helping your partner out with their ironing too. But now that they’re gone, it’s only your clothes that are left to iron. Although the extra clothes gave you more work to do, you were happy to do so. Looking at the piles of unworn clothes of your late partner makes you feel sad.
Health Check-Ups
If your partner passed as the result of a serious health problem, going for routine health check-ups might become very daunting to you. You might be afraid of receiving bad news one day too. On top of that, you now have to go to health checks without your partner, the person who always accompanied you.
Moving
“Just like with any big changes, moving brings a loss with it. While you gain new experiences, new opportunities, new relationships, and a new environment, you also lose those from your old life. Your past home, your friends, your job, your routine; they all stay back while you move on,” says the Grief Recovery Center. Moving can make grieving feel harder.
Responsibilities
When someone you love dies, especially when it’s your partner, you end up with a lot of new responsibilities that perhaps your partner used to take care of. Paying for certain bills, keeping up with different payments, and filling out paperwork might all be things that your partner used to do before they passed.
Sleeping
If the person you lost in death was your partner, this is a very difficult situation to handle. What can be especially challenging is going to sleep each night without your partner there. The bed might feel cold, large, and unwelcomingly empty without your partner.
Loneliness
Widowhood triggers loneliness, says the National Institutes of Health. “Three years prior to spousal death, 15%–20% of participants reported feeling lonely. By the time of spousal death, the prevalence of loneliness increased to around 30% for women and 40% for men and continued to increase to around 40% for women and 50% for men approximately a year into widowhood.”
Going Out
Going out can be challenging when you lose someone you love. You were used to always going out together, and now, all of a sudden you’re getting ready on your own and meeting up with others alone. Although you’re going to spend time with others, just the journey to meet up with them makes you feel sad.
Talking
When someone you love dies and that person is your partner, you miss the chats you used to have with that person. Talking with others is nice, but no one understands you like your partner used to. This can make conversations with other people seem meaningless or superficial.
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