18 Unexpected Downsides of Being Too Nice

Photo Credit: Africa Studio/Shutterstock.

There’s no doubt that being a kind and giving person is the best way to live life, but be warned! There is such a thing as being “too nice,” and excessive consideration for others can take a serious toll on your health and relationships. This article explores the 18 indicators that your overly sweet nature is being exploited or negatively impacting your well-being.

Exhaustion

Photo Credit: Leszek Glasner/Shutterstock.

Psychology Today says that constantly putting the needs of others first is tiring, both mentally and physically. Tending to the needs and demands of others takes up time and energy, and allocating too much of these personal resources to other people can ultimately leave you burnt out, emotionally broken, or even in a physical state of collapse!

Resentment

Photo Credit: GaudiLab/Shutterstock.

Bottling up your feelings and suppressing your own needs to please others or avoid conflict may make sense in the short term, but over time, even the nicest person feels resentful, says Dr. Sirota. Take care not to constantly sacrifice too much of your own happiness for others, or you may end up feeling bitter.

Lack of Boundaries

Photo Credit: ESB Professional/Shutterstock.

Sweet people often struggle to say “no” or inform others when they’ve crossed a line or upset them (Medium). Although it may seem like you’re being unkind, setting boundaries in healthy relationships benefits everyone. Otherwise, you may end up feeling exploited, vulnerable, or uncomfortable.

Self-Neglect

Photo Credit: Drazen Zigic/Shutterstock.

Being excessively nice often requires prioritizing the needs of others over your own, even if your own needs are more important. CBC states that neglecting your own need for adequate nutrition, sleep, exercise, and self-care can seriously impact your mental and physical health. Taking care of others sometimes means taking care of yourself first!

Dependence

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

If you continually give support and accommodate people no matter what, others can become dependent on you. Unless these people are actual dependents (like young children and the elderly), they shouldn’t see you as a 24-hour, unfailing helper. The Soul Medic warns that filling that role can make them incapable of making decisions or problem-solving alone.

Manipulation

Photo Credit: Just Life/Shutterstock.

If you’re overly kind to intelligent and ruthless individuals, they may see this as an opportunity to exploit you, using your desire to please others to their advantage. This can occur in any type of relationship—romantic, platonic, or professional. Take care not to let your sweet nature blind you to the ulterior motives of others.

Low Self-Esteem

Photo Credit: Ekaterina Pokrovsky/Shutterstock.

Expert Editor claims that excessive niceness can result from low self-esteem, and constantly seeking self-validation by helping others can further erode self-worth. If you’re relying too heavily on the approval and praise of others, you can diminish your own confidence. Don’t be afraid to cut out toxic ‘friends’ or avoid critical people—not everyone has to like you!

Difficulty Saying No

Photo Credit: Aloha Hawaii/Shutterstock.

Overly nice people struggle to refuse a request for their time or help, even if they have a genuine reason to do so. According to Bustle, saying no is important for setting boundaries and avoiding exploitation, excessive stress, and exhaustion. While you may fear disappointing or alienating others, remember that any friend worth having will respect your limits.

Unsatisfying Relationships

Photo Credit: Just Life/Shutterstock.

While being kind and accommodating can make you agreeable and even noble, consistently prioritizing others will lead to one-sided relationships that lack connection and mutual respect. If you’re constantly playing the role of ‘gardener’ to someone else’s ‘garden,’ you’re going to feel inferior, unsupported, and—ultimately—unsatisfied.

Stress

Photo Credit: fizkes/Shutterstock.

Suppressing your own feelings and needs while constantly trying to please others can put excessive mental pressure on you, often resulting in chronic, underlying stress. Instead of always trying to meet the high expectations of others, try advocating for yourself now and then to reduce your mental burden.

Over-Apologizing

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

According to Tanya Geisler, “people-pleasers may say ‘sorry’ too much to try to please everyone.” If you find yourself apologizing far more than other people, you may be taking the blame unnecessarily or letting others “off the hook” too quickly. Adverse side effects include disrespect from others, reduced self-worth, and unnecessary feelings of guilt.

Difficulty Expressing Feelings

Photo Credit: AlexandrMusuc/Shutterstock.

Even nice people get sad, annoyed, frustrated, or angry, yet they may maintain a facade of ‘niceness’ to avoid surprising others or creating conflict. Constantly bottling up your feelings isn’t healthy and makes it difficult to make genuine connections or communicate meaningfully. Don’t forget that genuine loved ones won’t stop loving you just because you got mad!

Ingratitude

Photo Credit: Bilanol/Shutterstock.

If you always help people no matter what, they may end up taking you for granted. Over time, your kindness can become so dependable that others don’t appreciate it—they expect it. Not only is this an unhealthy relationship balance, but it reduces the chance of reciprocity, and it may make you feel undervalued no matter how hard you try.

Missed Opportunities

Photo Credit: Cast Of Thousands/Shutterstock.

Relentlessly focusing on what other people want can result in ignoring your own dreams and desires, particularly in a professional setting (Fierce Inc.). Make sure you prioritize your own ambitions as well, or you may end up regretting it, leaving you watching other people’s successes instead of celebrating your own.

Lack of Assertiveness

Photo Credit: wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock.

The ‘assertive’ tag isn’t one we generally associate with nice people, but being able to advocate for yourself is essential and will ensure that others respect you. Avoiding confrontation at all costs, even if it means ignoring personal rights and freedoms, makes you overly passive and susceptible to being exploited or abused.

Fakeness

Photo Credit: Prostock-studio/Shutterstock.

Healthline says that people pleasers often struggle with authenticity because they constantly try to maintain their ‘niceness,’ even when they feel negative emotions or dislike. Covering up how you feel isn’t always a bad thing, but constantly hiding your feelings can make you seem fake and disingenuous.

Burnout

Photo Credit: Gorodenkoff/Shutterstock.

As with exhaustion, professional or mental burnout is common in overly nice individuals. Constantly pleasing, helping, and deferring to others is tiring and takes time and energy away from fulfilling your own needs. Make sure you prioritize yourself sometimes, or your health and performance will suffer.

No Conflict Resolution

Photo Credit: Nicoleta Ionescu/Shutterstock.

If you spend your life avoiding arguments, you tend to have terrible conflict-resolution skills. Remember that avoidance isn’t a solution and that failing to have that difficult conversation or uncomfortable confrontation can worsen an unresolved issue over time.

READ MORE

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

As boomers fondly clutch onto practices that evoke nostalgia, Gen Z is at the next counter, eagerly trading in the old for a dash of modern sparkle. From handwritten notes to digital memos, from piggy banks to digital wallets—the dance between ‘then’ and ‘now’ has never been more lively. Join us as we explore 18 traditions that boomers want to uphold but Gen Z says need to go.

BOOMERS HAVE SPOKEN: 18 TRADITIONS THEY WANT TO UPHOLD BUT GEN Z SAYS “NEED TO GO”

16 THINGS MEN KNOW (BUT WILL NEVER REVEAL TO THE LADIES)

Photo Credit: Krakenimages.com/Shutterstock.

Have you ever wondered what men really think or do? Then look no further. A recent internet survey asked, “What are some ‘guy secrets’ girls don’t know about?” Here are the top 16 answers:

16 THINGS MEN KNOW (BUT WILL NEVER REVEAL TO THE LADIES)

18 BABY BOOMER SLANG PHRASES THAT MAKE MILLENNIALS SCRATCH THEIR HEADS

Photo Credit: Prostock-studio/Shutterstock.

While it’s easy for younger generations to feel like they’re steeped in slang, Boomers know that some of the best phrases have been passed down for years. Think you’re hip to all of them? Read on for 18 popular phrases of Baby Boomer slang.

18 BABY BOOMER SLANG PHRASES THAT MAKE MILLENNIALS SCRATCH THEIR HEADS

20 THINGS OLD PEOPLE LOVE THAT THE REST OF US DON’T UNDERSTAND

Photo Credit: Shutterstock.

Different generations enjoy different things, but have you ever seen something an old person loves and thought to yourself, why? A recent internet survey asked, “What is something that old people love that you don’t understand?” Here are the top 20 answers.

20 THINGS OLD PEOPLE LOVE THAT THE REST OF US DON’T UNDERSTAND

20 THINGS WE DID WHEN WE WERE YOUNG THAT WE REGRET NOW

Photo Credit: Kues/Shutterstock.

It’s easy to say hindsight is 20/20, but what advice would you really give your younger self? Here are 20 things that most people did when they were young that they regret today.

20 THINGS WE DID WHEN WE WERE YOUNG THAT WE REGRET NOW