Like fashion and technology, language modernizes and evolves over time. Some commonly used expressions from the Boomer era are now decades old, and many are no longer relevant or appropriate in our current society—or have merely become cringe-worthy! This article focuses on 18 such phrases and why they really need to be retired or, at least, updated.
“Man up”
This dismissive phrase told men to conform to stereotypical masculinity. The APA states, “Features such as toughness, dominance, self-reliance, heterosexual behaviors, restriction of emotional expression and the avoidance of traditionally feminine attitudes and behaviors” were the norm. Nowadays, men enjoy greater gender equality and socially acceptable expression.
“Senior moment”
This euphemism may seem harmless, but it can make light of or minimize the trauma involved in genuine cognitive decline. It can be insensitive to those experiencing mere memory lapses and painful for those suffering from diseases such as Alzheimer’s and dementia. It’s more sensitive to offer help or support respectfully rather than highlight a person’s age.
“Bless your heart.”
Although this expression is often meant well, especially in the southern U.S., it is now regarded as a backhanded compliment. The implication that someone is naive, cute, or sentimental isn’t necessarily good, and some people can feel patronized. Try a less condescending phrase, like “That was very kind of you” or “Perhaps you didn’t realize, but…”
“That’s so ghetto.”
The term “ghetto” refers to a poor, urban area where a minority group is concentrated and barriers remain to keep them there. Using it to describe something illegal or unappealing reinforces negative racial stereotypes and social inequality, widening the divide between communities. Avoid mentioning ghettos, and state what you don’t like about a place or activity.
“Don’t be such a drama queen.”
This phrase is outdated and insensitive, and perhaps even homophobic to boot! Girl Spring asserts that telling a person not to feel a certain way is dismissive, unhealthy, and promotes emotional suppression. The term ‘queen’ originated amongst gay men (describing a flamboyant person), and it may offend the LGBTQ+ community if you attach the ‘dramatic’ tag to it.
“Workaholic” (as a compliment)
Our modern world may be busier than ever, but there’s also an increasing focus on maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Being a “workaholic” might make some people happy, but it isn’t a compliment and may even glorify overtime, burnout, and career obsession. Nowadays, it’s more befitting to say, “You always get the job done,” or “I admire your dedication.”
“Boys will be boys.”
This dangerously flippant expression was often used to dismiss negative ‘male’ behavior, like harassing girls/women, fighting, or being reckless. Implying that someone has no control over their actions just because they are male is sexist and fails to teach boys and young men responsibility, respect, and accountability. Never use gender as an excuse for bad behavior!
“Never talk politics or religion at the dinner table.”
While we can see the wisdom in this one, especially in families full of hot-headed, idealistic, and opinionated individuals, avoiding meaningful discussions prevents progress and collaboration. Some topics affect us all, and it’s crucial to understand other people’s ideas and perspectives. Don’t ban such conversations at dinner; encourage calm, respectful dialogue instead.
“What a hippie!”
Coined by the media to describe ‘hip’ young people who rejected societal norms in the 1960s, the word has several negative, stereotypical connotations. Gale says conservatives may refer to someone as a “hippie” if they have liberal, progressive views, but it also implies they are lazy, radical, or unpatriotic. It’s best to focus on the issues without resorting to name-calling.
“Life isn’t fair.”
While this statement may be factual, it’s often used when someone is facing a challenging situation or traumatic event. It can make them feel unheard and unsupported, dismissing their problems as inevitable. Modern society is more supportive and empathetic, so try offering support, encouragement, or sympathy instead. You could say, “That’s tough, but you’re strong enough to overcome it!”
“You’re getting on in years.”
This is an old-fashioned way to point out someone’s advancing age and is now considered rude. The phrase is insensitive and may offend or upset someone who is self-conscious about aging or has age-related health problems. It’s kinder to focus on the positive aspects of aging by saying something like, “You have so much wisdom and experience to share.”
“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”
While possibly containing a grain of truth, this proverb fails to account for the broad spectrum of human personalities and interests. It suggests that anyone who focuses on their career or works hard is boring and that only those who spend a lot of time on leisure activities are ‘fun.’ Don’t pigeonhole people—try to celebrate whatever lifestyle choices make them happy.
“Act your age!”
This phrase implies that any ‘child-like’ activity or enthusiasm is inappropriate for adults and can discourage individuality and self-expression. While emotional immaturity isn’t a positive thing, people of all ages can enjoy different activities and interests—like play parks, extreme sports, and dress-up parties! Never criticize someone for enjoying their life and embracing their inner child.
“Lighten up!”
According to Gallup, “The percentage of U.S. adults who report having been diagnosed with depression at some point in their lifetime has reached 29.0%” as of 2023. Telling someone to “lighten up” dangerously dismisses mental health problems like depression and minimizes the challenges someone is experiencing, labeling their negative feelings as mere ‘doom and gloom.’
“She’s just a housewife.”
Ouch! This sexist and dismissive phrase negates the fact that parenting, childcare, and maintaining a household are some of the toughest jobs anyone can do—man or woman. Payment isn’t in dollars, there are no days off, and sick days are just regular days, only harder! Modern society recognizes the value of stay-at-home parents and respects this demanding role.
“Everything happens for a reason.”
While this proverb may be offered up well-meaningly, it can be insensitive, especially if someone is suffering a senseless personal tragedy like the loss of a child. It implies a predetermined plan that may not resonate with more scientific or non-spiritual people. Offer empathy and support instead by saying, “This is a terrible situation, and I’m here for you.”
“Turn off that racket!”
This phrase can be disrespectful if music is being played at a respectable volume but simply doesn’t match your personal preferences. Everyone enjoys different musical genres, so heavy metal, trance, garage, or modern pop music may be what makes someone else feel happy, energized, or understood. Try to have an open mind when listening to new music.
“Real men don’t cry.”
This harmfully sexist stereotype discourages healthy emotional expression and perpetuates the myth that men don’t have feelings! Bottling up emotions can lead to negative consequences, such as declining mental health, outbursts, and even violent behavior. It’s essential for everyone to feel comfortable expressing their feelings in a cathartic way, regardless of gender.
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