Everybody is looking for something different in a partner and relationship, so some traits may be incredibly attractive to one person and repulsive to another. However, there are also some common habits and behaviors that are off-putting to the vast majority of men. Here are 18 relationship mistakes women make that drive men away.
Neglecting Self-Care and Personal Growth
In any relationship, it’s important that you don’t become too complacent and dependent on your partner for all of your needs. Neglecting your own self-care, independence, and personal growth can breed a sense of unfulfillment and imbalance in the relationship.
Lack of Communication
There’s a good reason why people are always saying that communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship. Lacking or low-quality communication can easily lead to misunderstandings and a build-up of resentment over time, making it more likely that your partner will reconsider the relationship.
Overanalyzing or Jumping to Conclusions
It’s never a good idea to make uninformed assumptions about your partner’s intentions or actions, especially when you have a tendency to assume the worst. This can cause your partner to feel like you don’t trust or understand them, building a sense of resentment and disconnection.
Being Overly Critical or Negative
It’s obviously okay to bring up your concerns to your partner if you do so in a healthy and fair way. However, being overly negative and constantly criticizing the man in your life can degrade his self-esteem and lead him to feel like you don’t value the positive things about him.
Neglecting Your Partner’s Emotional Needs
There is a common misconception that men’s emotional needs aren’t as prominent as women’s, but this is not accurate. It’s very important to make your boyfriend or husband feel like you understand him and his needs. Failing to do so can cause him to feel hurt, misunderstood, and isolated in the relationship.
Losing Sight of the Importance of Intimacy
Intimacy is a crucial part of most relationships. While physical intimacy is important to most people, as noted by Choosing Therapy, intimacy also comes in many other forms, such as emotional intimacy and quality time together. Everybody values different kinds of intimacy, so it’s important to discuss this with your partner and ensure they’re getting their needs met.
Forgetting to Compromise
No matter how similar we are, we all have slightly different wants and needs. As such, it’s normal for conflicts and disagreements to arise. The important thing is being willing to compromise and find a solution that works for both parties when this happens. Failing to do so can lead to resentment and a sense of mutual disrespect.
Jealousy and Lack of Trust
Everybody gets jealous or envious sometimes, and that’s okay. However, it’s not okay to make unfounded accusations and immediately violate your partner’s boundaries because of these feelings. This can lead them to feel like you don’t trust, respect, or understand them, potentially causing them to reconsider the relationship.
Avoiding Responsibility for Actions
It’s normal to make mistakes every now and then. The important part is taking proper accountability for those mistakes and apologizing when necessary. If you’re always shifting the blame and emphasizing your partner’s role in your relationship issues, you may be creating an environment of unfairness, disrespect, and immaturity.
Not Making the Relationship a Priority
While it’s healthy to pursue hobbies, work goals, and other kinds of relationships outside of your romantic relationship, it’s important to ensure that you’re also making enough time and space for your partner. Failing to prioritize him and his needs can make him feel like he’s not important enough to you.
Setting Unrealistic Expectations
It’s good to clearly tell your partner what you want and need from him so he can do his best to meet those needs. However, as stated by Psych Central, if you set too many unrealistic expectations, you’re setting both your partner and your relationship up to fail.
Avoiding Financial Conversations
It can feel awkward and difficult to talk about money, even with your partner. However, these conversations are incredibly important to have in order to avoid tensions or misunderstandings later down the road.
Comparing Your Relationship to Others
While it may feel tempting to compare your relationship to those of your friends or online celebrities, this can become very toxic. Telling your partner you’re upset that your relationship isn’t as “good” as someone else’s can easily make them feel inadequate and unappreciated.
Neglecting to Establish Boundaries
Some people mistakenly believe that partners don’t need to set boundaries with each other. In reality, failing to do so can lead to hurt feelings, burnout, and feelings of violation. Over time, this can wear on the relationship and even cause couples to split up.
Taking Your Partner for Granted
Partners are supposed to be there for one another. However, that doesn’t mean we should take them for granted. It’s important to always acknowledge and express appreciation for the things your boyfriend or husband does for you. If you don’t, he may end up feeling disrespected, undervalued, and unappreciated.
Over-Dependence on Your Partner for Happiness
Do you feel like you are completely dependent on your partner for your own happiness or sense of well-being? If so, you may be risking the health and longevity of your relationship. Making your partner overly responsible for your happiness can strain the relationship and put too much pressure on them to meet all of your needs.
Failure to Communicate Needs and Desires
You should never expect your partner to be able to read your mind and know exactly what you need and want at all times. If you do this and then criticize your partner for not meeting your needs, this is very likely to drive them away from you. Instead, clearly communicate your needs and wishes so that you’re both on the same page.
Ignoring the Importance of Personal Space
No matter how much we love our partners, it’s still important to have some time to ourselves every now and then. For this reason, it’s crucial to respect your partner’s space and need for time away from you. This is not a sign of rejection, but a simple need to decompress and recharge. As noted by Eugene Therapy, this also ensures we can maintain our sense of individuality outside of the relationship.
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