When it comes to their masculinity, men are often willing to go to lengths to prove themselves and how “manly” they are. The idea of what exactly constitutes “masculinity” is often evolving, however. This article explores 18 questionable things that men these days consider to be masculine.
Being Unemotional
Men often grow up learning and believing that expressing emotions (other than anger) is a sign of weakness. Emotional expression in men is also frequently discouraged, leading to a lack of emotional awareness and connection. Unbeknownst to them, real strength includes the ability to be emotionally open and vulnerable.
Being Tough and Strong
Traditional masculinity emphasizes physical strength and toughness as core qualities, which is why you see so many men trying to build up their bodies. An overemphasis on physical toughness, however, can prevent men from developing other essential personal qualities. True strength encompasses mental, emotional, spiritual, and relational aspects.
Not Showing Weakness or Crying
As said by Psych Central, “In many cultures around the world, it’s considered taboo for men to cry. Many people still believe men should be stoic and show little to no emotion.” The stigma against men showing any form of vulnerability, like crying, is a significant aspect of traditional masculinity. In reality, acknowledging and expressing emotions such as grief and sadness are signs of authentic strength.
Expertise in Sex
Boys often encounter cultural messages that portray men as inherently knowledgeable about sex. They think men who are sexually skilled or sexually promiscuous are the epitome of masculinity. This myth can distort healthy attitudes towards sex and relationships.
Impressive Career and Earnings
Men often face societal pressure to define their worth by their job and income, considering those who are wealthy and successful as the most masculine. They often place their value in their careers. This perspective can overshadow other valuable personal attributes and relationships.
Not Being Affected by Pain or Confusion
The belief that men should not acknowledge pain or confusion is a common one. They often refuse to show any hints of weakness that could compromise their “masculinity.” However, recognizing and addressing the pain and confusion men experience is crucial for their emotional health.
Beards
According to the NIH, “Men with distinct facial hair are perceived as more aggressive, dominant, older, and more formidable, mostly by other men,” which is pretty much everything they consider masculine. Yep, it’s that simple—many men consider those who are hairy as “manly.”
Never Needing Help or Relying on Others
Many men attempt to portray themselves as completely self-reliant and independent, creating for themselves a masculine stereotype. They often refuse to seek help and won’t rely on others, as they think it takes away from their manliness. Maybe one day they’ll learn that interdependence and community support are essential for holistic well-being.
Avoiding Anything “Feminine”
Some men will do their best to avoid anything feminine on the off-chance that it will compromise their masculinity. This includes everything from embracing qualities traditionally seen as feminine, like empathy and nurturing, to not wanting to drink a colorful cocktail. Sadly for them, the avoidance of anything deemed feminine is a restrictive norm that limits men’s expression and experiences.
Dominance Over Others
The need for men to dominate others, whether in relationships or socially, is another dumb thing that men often think makes them look masculine. In reality, it can be pretty harmful and frustrating. True leadership and strength are about empowerment and respect, not dominance.
Grilling
There’s a strong belief among men that they must be master grillers, wielding tongs like samurai swords. There’s also an unwritten rule among them that the barbecue is a male-only domain, often leading to standoffs over the perfect way to grill a steak. Fortunately, the idea that one’s grilling skills are directly proportional to their masculinity is not real.
Physical Risk-Taking and Violence
As shared by the University of Bath, “It is widely acknowledged that men, across many domains, take more risks than women.” Men are also known to be more violent. They often associate these behaviors with masculinity, thinking it makes them “real men,” which can be harmful to them in the long run.
Not Displaying Affection or Tenderness
The notion that men shouldn’t show affection or tenderness perpetuates a lack of emotional intimacy, though many men themselves consider these things feminine behaviors that would damage their masculinity or make them appear weak. Pretty dumb, right?
Not Talking About Their Problems
Some men think that opening up about their problems could cause others to look at them differently and ruin the “masculine” persona that they’ve built for themselves, in which men are seen as emotionless creatures. Sadly, the stigma against men discussing their problems contributes to increased mental health issues.
Ignoring Instructions
Another dumb thing you may have noticed the men in your life doing is refusing to read instructions. Whether they’re assembling furniture or using new gadgets, they prefer to rely on instinct, believing that asking for directions or following a recipe is seen as a dent in their masculine armor.
Being in Control
Do you know a man who always just has to be in control? A man who thinks he always knows best? Some men (wrongly) believe that relinquishing control is an insult to their masculinity and that bossing everyone around makes them manlier. This pressure for men to always be in control, however, can lead to stress and an inability to cope with uncertainty.
Refusing Emotional Support
As shared by Barchester Mental Health, a study found that “half of men feel uncomfortable when talking about their emotions.” Many of these men won’t get emotional support for fear of looking less manly, which is incredibly silly. Emotional support is crucial for everyone, including men, to navigate life’s challenges and maintain mental health.
Hogging the Remote Control
There’s a common idea among men that possession of the TV remote control is a display of dominance in the household. There are even battles for control over the remote, often seen as a high-stakes game. The notion that mastery over the remote equates to ultimate decision-making power in the living room or heightened masculinity is dumb, just like the other things on this list.
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