Though kindness is free, it can be harder to come by than we would like to admit. Truly authentic kindness is even more rare. Here are some signs that you have come across a genuinely kind human being.
They Are Good Listeners
“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” says Stephen R. Covey. One of the most basic human needs is the need to be heard and understood. Truly kind people understand this need and listen to other people completely, without judgment or the need to chime in.
They’re Considerate With Their Words And Behavior
So many people don’t take a moment to think before they act or speak, which can lead to hurting other people’s feelings. Genuinely kind people make sure to consider other people before they act. This doesn’t mean they are less than authentic; they just choose to be intentional.
They Respect Others’ Feelings
Taking other people’s perspectives into account, even when they don’t play into our perspective, is a genuinely kind act. Often, when someone’s feelings about something conflict with how we see the world or a situation, it is easy to dismiss them. Kind people accept that someone’s feelings are what they are and choose to respect them.
They Accept People For Who They Are
“Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they’re alive and human,” said Albert Ellis. All people come with great traits, neutral traits, and faults. We have all fallen, and we all need to grow. Kind people accept people as they are, choosing to love the good and not shame the less-than-great. Kind people gently invite everyone to grow.
They Forgive People For Their Mistakes
It takes a strong person to forgive because forgiveness is not a one-time act; it’s a constant choice to not hold someone’s mistakes against them. Kind people forgive without agenda, without holding it over the person or bringing it back up in a future argument.
They Give Without Expecting Anything In Return
Generosity is the virtue of kind people. They give without thinking about what they will get in return. Not all gifts are monetary or physical; gifts can include spending time with someone or giving a listening ear. These are the people who will show up at your door with cupcakes and tissues when they know you’re sad, but would never try to be that burden on anyone else.
They Give Praise
“Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary,” says Margaret Cousins. It’s easy to think people know how we feel about them and that we appreciate what they do for us. Kind people take the extra step of making sure people know when they are appreciated or when they do a good job.
They’re Humble
Humility doesn’t mean you aren’t confident; it just means that you aren’t always the first person on your mind. Even humble people have pride in themselves, but they are subtle and quiet about it. Pride is loud and artificial; humility is quiet and makes us real.
They Let Others Have the Spotlight
“Shine the light on others, and the light will shine on you.” Kind people don’t need to be the center of attention. They can see when other people need to be seen and heard, and they understand that when you shine your light on others, you keep yourself out of the dark as well.
They’re Respectfully Honest
Brutal honesty has no place with kind people. They know there is always a way to speak honestly without hurting others, or at least softening the blow as much as possible. The Emily Post Institute says, “Honesty allows us to apply empathy to find the positive truth and act upon it, without causing embarrassment or pain.”
They Show Gratitude to Others
We could all focus a little more on expressing gratitude toward people and the universe. Often, our gratitude falls through the cracks when we are more focused on vocalizing what isn’t going well. “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it,” says William Arthur Ward. Kind people express gratitude to those who have been kind to them and to the universe in general.
They’re Patient
Patience is a virtue. Being able to wait while keeping a good attitude is the true meaning of patience. To be patient with another person can mean showing grace while they learn your boundaries and preferences. It can mean showing faith while the people they love grow and make up for their mistakes. Kind people don’t rush the process.
They Spread Good Vibes
A positive outlook can create positive outcomes. Positive people don’t always have sunshine and rainbows, though, so forgive them for their down moments; they’re human, too. But overall, kind people spread more happiness and positivity than putting their bad days out on other people.
They Don’t Complain
Generally, kind people don’t spend their time complaining; when they have a problem, they look for a solution or the bright side. As the old proverb says, “Instead of complaining that the rose bush is full of thorns, be happy the thorn bush has roses.”
They Act With Integrity
Integrity is doing the right thing even when no one is watching. Kind people will not smile in your face and then talk about you behind your back; they choose kind words no matter who is listening. You will never have to question their motives or if they are being two-faced.
They Admit Their Flaws
Not only do they allow others to have their flaws; they own their own. They admit they are not perfect and that they have made mistakes. They also give themselves patience and grace to grow and become better.
They Treat Everyone Equally
They will treat the janitor with the same respect as the CEO. People are all people who deserve respect and compassion, regardless of their station in life. This does not mean they act exactly the same with everyone, as each individual requires different things to feel seen and heard.
They Invite Others to Their Party
“Life is a party. Invite everyone you can.” No one is left out with genuinely kind people, even those they may not prefer. A kind person can set their own feelings aside long enough to let everyone feel cared about and as though they belong.
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